theunpressuredclub: (looking up)
[personal profile] theunpressuredclub
 Her shoulder had healed up well enough, although there would be some ugly scarring that would remain. The conversation with Lorraine, while not progressing much further that night, had opened up the door to equally careful conversations-- to a deep amount of thought, on Rachel's part.

Curled up beside Edgar now, his lips pressing softly against the cloth over her healed shoulder as they snuggle on the couch, she finds the words slipping out of their own accord. Doesn't doing anything to stop them, because she's finally started to recognize that maybe it's time to let it go.

"I know Drew-- thinks it's Papa," she murmurs, quite suddenly, "And it-- it is, sometimes. But it's usually... The bad ones, Ed, it's-- it's not him that does it. It's..."

And she can't quite work up the strength to actually name who it is, just yet. She needs to shift, settle more properly into his arms and tuck her head against his chest so she doesn't have to see the expression on his face.

Date: 2014-10-25 02:49 pm (UTC)
ofthecubs: (brushing up on looking down)
From: [personal profile] ofthecubs
There's been a change. There's been a marked difference since the night they'd had a quiet dinner with a sling on Rachel's shoulder and a shadow on Lorraine's features. It's been difficult, holding himself down and back while Rachel's been so quiet.

It's meant less time with his father. It's meant more time with his mother's fingers tight on his shoulder helping him focus on what helps and what hurts. It's meant a lot of being quiet and present and full of an open trust in a process he didn't fully understand.

It's a work in progress, still. Rachel's soft words now do have tension pulling tight through him, fingers tensing unconsciously in her arm before he can force a few quiet breaths. Anger isn't the right emotion now. Anger can come later, with Andrew, with his mother; not with her.

"...it's someone else?"

Date: 2014-10-25 06:18 pm (UTC)
ofthecubs: (no one saying be there)
From: [personal profile] ofthecubs
"That's--"

She's already flinching. She's already full of that tension she gets filled with when he yells; tension he's come to understand is exactly the tension that comes when preparing for a blow to land.

She doesn't need that. She doesn't need to feel unsafe now when she's finally opened a piece of herself that's raw and scared and uncertain.

There's a low frustrate sound in his throat as he curls himself tighter around her, presses his face down properly against the join between her neck and her shoulder.

It takes a few deep breaths before he can begin to find words that aren't angry. "...that's... not okay, Rach."

Date: 2014-10-25 07:49 pm (UTC)
ofthecubs: (no one saying do this)
From: [personal profile] ofthecubs
Of course she hadn't realized. Of course, smart and loving and trusting as she is, she had gotten in over her head with basic faith in other people. Of course it isn't her fault she feels that there's no way out.

He needs to keep focusing back on that. He needs to keep coming back to the fact she's trying to make sense of this whole thing too.

"Then-- Then it all should-- stop, right? Not-- Not just-- Not just for you, Rach. For-- everyone."

Date: 2014-10-25 09:27 pm (UTC)
ofthecubs: (so enemies beware)
From: [personal profile] ofthecubs
"So maybe it's not-- enough people caring. Maybe-- maybe it's just-- the right people caring."

Which hurts to admit, yes, but which might be the right tack to approach it. It's a first draft of a thought, yes, but surely the attempt at a plan is better than giving in to the sense of being completely overwhelmed by the problem.

"She's not the only Queen in the Deck. And-- it's not even just her Suit it's impacting."

Date: 2014-10-26 01:29 am (UTC)
ofthecubs: (thus far a rather uninspiring thing)
From: [personal profile] ofthecubs
He can't help pulling back now. He doesn't pull back far, but he needs to see her face to understand that she's entirely genuine in this assessment of herself.

"Just you?"

It's impossible for him to genuinely comprehend her being anything to be qualified with a 'just.'

Date: 2014-10-26 02:47 am (UTC)
ofthecubs: (no one saying be there)
From: [personal profile] ofthecubs
He's gotten better, at least, at knowing how to moderate his frustration with this. He's gotten much better at counting to ten and breathing through the confusion that she doesn't feel the way he does: that she's most likely the center of the entire universe.

"...no one... no one's just them, Rach. Especially-- not you."

Date: 2014-10-26 01:18 pm (UTC)
ofthecubs: (so enemies beware)
From: [personal profile] ofthecubs
Non-rejection works well enough. Non-rejection is all he can expect for the moment, so he'll breathe into it and curl her back in tight against himself.

"Do they deserve this?"

It's a simple sort of question, maybe. It's one he has a strong feeling about--and one he suspects she has an easier, stronger feeling about than about herself.

Date: 2014-10-27 01:05 am (UTC)
ofthecubs: (brushing up on looking down)
From: [personal profile] ofthecubs
"You care. You-- care if they get stuck. Right?"

He's not at all as subtle as his mother is with this sort of thing. He's probably never going to be. He's doing what he can with what he has.

"I care. If-- Andrew knew, or Argine knew-- if Mom knew-- they'd care."
ofthecubs: (so enemies beware)
From: [personal profile] ofthecubs
The Spades have taken a much harder tack in the changing times than all the rest of the Suits. There's no denying that the idea of taking a stand against Medea is a terrifying idea; the sort of thing people throw their morals to the wind to avoid.

"Our Queen would care." He's fully convicted in it. He's beyond convinced of it. "Our King would, too. And-- even without their own children, I-- I have to believe that the Hearts and the Diamonds would be on our side in this."
ofthecubs: (thus far a rather uninspiring thing)
From: [personal profile] ofthecubs
"I do." He shifts slightly, pressing a firm kiss against her temple. "I know there's-- a lot we can't fight, Rach, but-- this isn't something that should be protected by tradition."

Particularly not at an institutional level.

I'll take Clubs if you take Hearts. :|a

Date: 2014-10-27 08:03 pm (UTC)
ofthecubs: (so enemies beware)
From: [personal profile] ofthecubs
There can't help but be nervousness in him for this. His forehead presses hard against hers; his eyes flick between hers, searching and adoring and not yet certain she's truly on board.

"It won't be easy. And it-- it will be risky. But you won't have to do it alone."
ofthecubs: (no one saying be there)
From: [personal profile] ofthecubs
"We're going to fight back."

He needs to bite back the hurt, yes. He needs to temper his desire to shout and shake. It's important; it's letting her feel safe enough to consider this, after all.

"It won't keep happening."
ofthecubs: (so enemies beware)
From: [personal profile] ofthecubs
It's not a promise he should make, of course. It's the sort of promise that might go wrong; the sort of promise that might fall apart in any number of ways.

But he believes in himself. He believes in the Deck. He believes in the men and women he loves.

The nod of his head is firm. "I promise."

I AM PRETTY PREDICTABLE REALLY. and i can't. /o\

Date: 2014-10-29 07:54 pm (UTC)
ofthecubs: (just can't wait to be king)
From: [personal profile] ofthecubs
"We're going to fix this."

She has to believe it. He has to believe it too. They have to breathe it in as the truth, noses bumping together and breath mingling in the quiet of these safe rooms.

PERFECT /o\ why so much all the time ;;

Date: 2014-10-30 12:41 am (UTC)
ofthecubs: (no one saying see here)
From: [personal profile] ofthecubs
There's always something of a relief when she whispers that against his lips. There's always a better lift to his smile, even on nervous and exhausted days like this one.

"I love you-- so much, Rach."

It was destiny, yes, but that hasn't made it any less real.

let's just have nice things /o\

Date: 2014-10-30 01:15 am (UTC)
ofthecubs: (working on my roar)
From: [personal profile] ofthecubs
"And nothing's ever going to change it. Nothing at all."

She has to know that that's real as well. She has to believe that as deeply as she believes they're going to make things change.

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Rachel Caustello | Clubs

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