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[theunpressuredclub]

It's so different from the Deck.

The city in which Ophelia has helped her set up has nothing of the suffocating smallness that her home has. Nobody here knows entirely who she is except for the small handful of people the Queen had pointed her in the direction of-- and even they only really know her as a Diamond, not necessarily a Suit-switcher. It's refreshing.

It makes it tempting, almost, for her not to come back, regardless of whether or not she decides to raise the child growing inside her-- a decision she's still struggling to make, this far along. Because yes, while she knows the boy (and it's a boy. Edgar would be thrilled, in other circumstances) would remind her almost constantly of his father, she's also not certain if she doesn't want the reminder. She misses Edgar Eicheln, after all.

But missing him certainly does not mean expecting him to show up at the door of the apartment she's staying in. Thank goodness she looked through the peephole before opening it.

It's tempting to not respond to his knock. But she also knows just how resilient he can be if he thinks there's anything like a chance.

There's a crack in her voice as she calls through the door, "Please leave."

Comments

[theunpressuredclub]

"I-- wouldn't've been able to do anything else."

Smiling is still a little rough around the edges, but she's getting better.

"I-- I need you here."

She's needed him here since she left. Because she's been afraid, and he helps her feel stronger. Because this is his son, too.

Because she loves him.

[ofthecubs]

It helps that she's got a rough little smile. It also hurts to be blindsided slightly by the lingering question again.

"Would... you have asked? If I hadn't-- just showed up?"

[theunpressuredclub]

It's hard to admit. She has to reach out to him beseechingly to find the strength to, first.

"...No," she admits softly, eyes dropping, "I-- didn't want to intrude."

Not when she'd imagined he'd surely moved on. That he didn't care anymore.

[ofthecubs]

It's easy, even now, to wrap his fingers tight around hers. It's better when he can shift closer and hold her hand between two of his own.

"...intrude?"

[theunpressuredclub]

"I figured you'd've moved on by now," she admits, still not quite able to meet his eyes, "Challenged again, or-- found someone else. Your world was-- always so much bigger than just me, Ed."

And she didn't resent him for it. It's something to accept with everyone she cares about. It just also means she thinks them much more capable than she is at carrying on.

[ofthecubs]

His fingers squeeze again, tighter, less affectionate and more nervous. They're getting out the important things now, after all.

"Won't be anyone else. Not... not like this, you know?"

[theunpressuredclub]

Her eyes lift to his, finally, when he squeezes her hands. She looks so tentative as she squeezes back.

"Y-you really believe that?"

She doesn't know if she can ask him to promise it. She's almost too afraid of promises, now.

[ofthecubs]

"I do."

There's all earnestness in his gaze on her face. There's absolute certainty in his finally steady voice.

"Rach, it... If you told me to-- leave, that-- you didn't want me around anymore, I... I'd survive. I'd find... something and someone and... and it'd be fine. But Rach, there's-- there's not going to be anyone like you. There's... there's never going to be feeling like this about anyone else."

[theunpressuredclub]

One hand lifts to his cheek, her touch careful. It's been so long, after all.

"For-- it's absolutely going t'be the same for me, too, Ed. I can't-- there can't be anyone else, f'r me, like this."

[ofthecubs]

There's no hesitation to lean against her touch. There's too much comfort, safety, in feeling her close again.

His breath does come a little shaky as he nods, still leaning.

"So let's... let's make this work."

[theunpressuredclub]

She shifts, leans in slowly to rest her forehead against his.

"Yeah. Let's."

[ofthecubs]

It's easier to breathe, once they're leaning properly against each other.

"No more being alone." His nose bumps hers lightly, entirely carefully. "No more trying to move on."

[theunpressuredclub]

She can't quite kiss him yet. She wants to, but she isn't entirely certain she can close the gap. Bumping his nose back lovingly will have to do.

"I love you, Ed. That's-- never gonna change. And 'm not-- not gonna leave again."

She can't.

[ofthecubs]

They're getting closer, at least. They're starting to feel more like he remembers feeling, before they both let things get out of control.

"I love you."

Important to repeat. Important, in fact, to murmur over and over again while holding her hand tight in his own.

[theunpressuredclub]

They'll get back to something more like what they were, someday. She has to have faith in that.

Has to murmur her love back to him, staying close and clinging as long as she can. They've been too far apart for too long for her not to.