theunpressuredclub | (no subject)

Most young wizards aren't able to master more difficult charms like the Patronus. That's why this particular part of Defense Against the Dark Arts is optional, or at the very least not penalized. But Rachel is a Slytherin, and like all Slytherins she's ambitious, and it's more likely than not when she's an Auror she'll need to be able to conjure a Patronus, so she figured she may as well start early.

"Expecto Patronum!"

She's getting on better than most, at least. Others aren't even able to get the smoke-like wisps that she's managed to conjure up so far.

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From:

theunpressuredclub

The lioness shivers just a little out of existence as the significance of her form starts to settle a little more in Rachel's mind. She forces the thought away almost instantly-- finds the thought a little easier when he speaks.

She can't help the beaming smile that touches her lips, the expression mirrored by the solidifying and the contented stretch of the lioness. This is another happy moment.

"...Thank you, Ed."

From:

ofthecubs

How can he not smile when she's smiling--and smiling at him? How can the lion not look suddenly nearly solid before vanishing into nothing?

How can this not hurt, no matter how happy it makes him to feel this brief connection?

"For-- what?"

From:

theunpressuredclub

"Just... Means a lot. T'hear you say that."

And the lioness wavers, lasts a little bit longer before winking out of existence.

"What with-- everything."

With all the heartbreak that had come of her being sorted in another House.

From:

ofthecubs

He doesn't trust his words. He doesn't trust himself to say things that won't make the moment worse.

Hopefully she won't tug away when he reaches to tug her wrist. Hopefully she won't stop him ducking his head to nudge her shoulder.

That's the best he can trust himself to do.

From:

theunpressuredclub

She won't tug away. She will, after just a moment and only briefly, curl against his in a tight hug before she pulls away, smiling at him.

"C'mon. Bet I can conjure it again before you do."

Edited Date: 2013-10-08 04:26 am (UTC)

From:

ofthecubs

"Bet you can't."

It's going to hurt. It's going to keep him up at night. It's going to make this amorphous unhappiness at her being so far away crystallize that much more into the emotion it really is.

But that's later.

From:

theunpressuredclub

It's going to be something she'll try to keep herself from thinking on. It's going to be something that will pop up at inconvenient times, like the next time she kisses Elliot. It's going to be something that, for once, she doesn't want her boyfriend to know about.

But for now, it's a happy thing. It's a moment for them to get on just as easily as they had in their childhood.

"We'll see about that."

From:

ofthecubs

It's a strange piece of information to have. It's a thought which on the one hand will fuel the elation to create a Patronus, and it's a thought that he won't be able to tell even Andrew while they sit together in the safety of their friendship. It's something that will go back constantly between being the best and worst thing he knows in the world.

And it's something which, a few years later, when he's graduated and visiting her at Hogsmeade, reveling the fact things have changed so much for the better since that day, will pop up in his mind. "...hey, Rach?"

From:

theunpressuredclub

It's not something that, since she and Elliot separated, she'd put too much thought into. Not even something she'd considered much beyond the first time it'd occurred, if only because she'd forced it back so far into her mind that it wasn't something to immediately face.

It's certainly not in the forefront of her mind when she's with him and just reveling in the contentment of being with him even for the brief amount of time he was in Hogsmeade.

"Mmmhm?"

From:

ofthecubs

"Just... thinking."

Which he does, from time to time. Which usually involves too much introspection, if never of the depths to which Andrew sometimes got lost.

"About-- when you were dating Elliot."

From:

theunpressuredclub

There's a shift then, a slight furrow of her brow as she looks him in the eyes questioningly.

"What about it?"

From:

ofthecubs

Breaking eye contact isn't the point, but it is an unfortunate side effect of pulling her closer, needing to nuzzle in against her neck for a moment. Physical contact is so important in their brief time together.

"Did... did you ever tell him about your Patronus?"

And, by extension, Edgar's.

From:

theunpressuredclub

She can't help but smile as he snuggles closer, and she presses a kiss against his temple warmly before she responds.

"No." And her arms curl better around him as she says it, "I figured it'd-- make him worse about things, mm?"

Because things had already begun to fray, then, what with Elliot's increasingingly possessive jealousy growing the closer she got to Edgar again.

"I mean I-- tried not t'be consciously aware of-- how I felt about you then, but, well-- y'know what they say, about Patronuses and the people you're in love with. And even though he never learned I-- know we wouldn't have matched."

He was anything but lion-hearted, after all.

From:

ofthecubs

Every touch is wonderful. Every kiss solidifies that this is real--and that this is really working, despite being far apart.

And, at the same time, it makes it all right to ask questions that still hurt a little.

"Is... that when you knew?"

From:

theunpressuredclub

There's a soft sigh as she lets her head drop to rest comfortably against his shoulder.

"The moment-- When I saw our Patronuses together, I knew in the moment. But I-- pushed it away, after, and it took me all that time to-- properly figure it out again."

Or, at the very least, it had taken separation from Elliot to realize just how much she got on with Edgar, and just how little she and her then-boyfriend were actually working out.

"...Was that when you knew?"

From:

ofthecubs

"...no."

His nose finds her temple, arms curling tighter around her. He can't help that his lips are curling up into a smile, despite the slightly sober topic of conversation.

"I knew-- before then. The first time Reynolds told me I-- couldn't see you anymore. Because it hurt such... such a different way than I expected, y'know?" Hurt like love, not like friendship. "Just... seeing them together was the-- first time I thought maybe you might feel th' same way, y'know?"

From:

theunpressuredclub

"Such a long time," she murmurs, shifting slightly to press a kiss against the side of his neck, "Why didn't you-- say anything? After the Patronuses?"

Or even after Elliot had left.

From:

ofthecubs

He doesn't so much laugh as sigh in a fashion which is almost, almost amused. His arms squeeze just a little tighter.

"Because it... didn't seem fair. Or like... I deserved your love."

From:

theunpressuredclub

There's a thoughtful hum as she squeezes back, nods against his shoulder.

"I suppose that makes sense. But... For what it's worth, Ed, by then you-- definitely deserved it."

From:

ofthecubs

"But would I have if I'd thought I did?"

Which is a legitimate question.

From:

theunpressuredclub

"Would you have?" She really can't help but ask, even if she imagines the answer is the negative, "Although I suppose I-- don't know what I would have done, if you had."