theunpressuredclub: (evasive)
[personal profile] theunpressuredclub
It's so different from the Deck.

The city in which Ophelia has helped her set up has nothing of the suffocating smallness that her home has. Nobody here knows entirely who she is except for the small handful of people the Queen had pointed her in the direction of-- and even they only really know her as a Diamond, not necessarily a Suit-switcher. It's refreshing.

It makes it tempting, almost, for her not to come back, regardless of whether or not she decides to raise the child growing inside her-- a decision she's still struggling to make, this far along. Because yes, while she knows the boy (and it's a boy. Edgar would be thrilled, in other circumstances) would remind her almost constantly of his father, she's also not certain if she doesn't want the reminder. She misses Edgar Eicheln, after all.

But missing him certainly does not mean expecting him to show up at the door of the apartment she's staying in. Thank goodness she looked through the peephole before opening it.

It's tempting to not respond to his knock. But she also knows just how resilient he can be if he thinks there's anything like a chance.

There's a crack in her voice as she calls through the door, "Please leave."

Date: 2014-04-21 07:37 am (UTC)
ofthecubs: (thus far a rather uninspiring thing)
From: [personal profile] ofthecubs
He can't help being set in this. He's tried--made actual earnest efforts, the way he makes earnest efforts at everything--to let her go; to imagine himself being happy with someone else.

But who else could there ever be?

"I can't help it," he half-laughs, tight and choked, against the door, still kneeling where he's slumped. "I know how I feel."

Date: 2014-04-21 02:20 pm (UTC)
ofthecubs: (so enemies beware)
From: [personal profile] ofthecubs
She's opening the door. It takes effort to scramble to his feet, to lean against the door frame upright so he'll be able to meet her eyes properly. It's got him breathing just a little heavily with the nerves of it--of knowing he's finally going to see her again.

It's impossible not to see she's crying. It's just as impossible not to see she's pregnant. His mind, already reeling, isn't quite sure which to handle first.

This wasn't the plan. Even with the plan he'd thought he had--of being the good son, of rising to king, of marrying and fathering grandsons for his own parents because it was expected and right--thrown somewhat out the window, this wasn't the plan. This was too soon. This was sticky. This was overwhelming beyond belief.

This wasn't something she should be handling alone.

"...all right." A step closer, slightly lurching, has her moving away, so he freezes, both hands held up and attention refocused on her face. "All... all right, Rach. Just... just let's... sit down, okay?"

Date: 2014-04-21 02:34 pm (UTC)
ofthecubs: (no one saying be there)
From: [personal profile] ofthecubs
She's pregnant. Somehow, it's impossible to begin to properly process. It's got his mind reeling and entire being operating solely on instinct.

Instinct to look after her. Instinct to love her. Instinct to make the world spinning around her spin slower. Instinct to try to be safe.

"Rach." He still can't keep the nerves from straining his voice, but he's speaking slowly--with the obvious intention of calm, if not the intonation. "Don't... don't apologize, okay? Just... let's just sit down."

Date: 2014-04-21 02:43 pm (UTC)
ofthecubs: (brushing up on looking down)
From: [personal profile] ofthecubs
"Okay."

Closing the door behind himself is careful. Leaning against it is also careful, involves just the tiniest bit of a slump. Having the stability--and seeing her properly seated--helps make breathing easier.

"Okay."

There hadn't been much of a plan beyond this. It takes a moment to get more words beyond that.

"So... so we're... Y-you're going to..."

Date: 2014-04-21 02:58 pm (UTC)
ofthecubs: (no one saying be there)
From: [personal profile] ofthecubs
She's going to have a baby. She's going to have a baby--their baby, their baby a piece of his brain catches is a 'he.' She's going to have a baby and she's going to give that baby away and come home.

She's right. It's complicated.

He opens his mouth, and for a moment, nothing comes out. Finally, a sigh escapes, his back sliding slightly lower against the door. "You don't have to... do this alone."

Date: 2014-04-21 03:28 pm (UTC)
ofthecubs: (so enemies beware)
From: [personal profile] ofthecubs
She keeps calling the child 'he.' It keeps hitting him like a blow to the gut.

This isn't just an idea. This isn't just a theory. This is a child that came from their love, that will look like them; that will live and breathe and be taken away.

But that's what she wants.

"...Rach, I... I want to be with you. If-- if this is-- part of that, then... then I want to be here."

Date: 2014-04-21 03:38 pm (UTC)
ofthecubs: (no one saying do this)
From: [personal profile] ofthecubs
The shock will wear off, eventually. The hurt will come, likely at night while he fights with all the other demons he's been collecting since she left. But reasoning will come with it. Consideration of the situation--of the way things had been left.

The hurt won't outweigh what's absolutely always been true and hasn't changed despite the tightness in his chest while he tries to breathe.

"I love you."

Date: 2014-04-21 03:51 pm (UTC)
ofthecubs: (no one saying be there)
From: [personal profile] ofthecubs
It helps to hear. Relief has him sliding, slowly, the rest of the way down to sitting on the floor.

"Then... then we'll do this." And it's crazy, because they're far too young and they don't have a plan, but for a second his heart genuinely wants to mean they'll have a baby--their baby. A slight shake of his head helps. "We'll... we'll figure it out from here."

Together.

Date: 2014-04-21 04:04 pm (UTC)
ofthecubs: (just can't wait to be king)
From: [personal profile] ofthecubs
She's not sending him away. She's not telling him there's someone else. She's not making it clear there isn't anything left.

She's saying 'together.' She's saying she loves him.

For a moment, he has to just close his eyes and breathe that in; let it become more real so that the rest of what's real--and much more overwhelming--can feel less dizzying.

"Can... can I come sit...?"

Date: 2014-04-21 04:11 pm (UTC)
ofthecubs: (no one saying be there)
From: [personal profile] ofthecubs
He tries to stand up. Honestly, he does. It's just he can't quite keep himself steady beyond kneeling. There's too much shaking in his frame for walking.

So it's a stumbling sort of crawl to cross the room. It's a careful, slow moving to lean against the couch close to her.

It makes it easier to feel the reality of the situation. To really feel the weight of the truth settling on his shoulder.

It leaves him in speechless contemplation again.

Date: 2014-04-21 04:20 pm (UTC)
ofthecubs: (brushing up on looking down)
From: [personal profile] ofthecubs
The pause as she reaches isn't hesitance; it's curious. It's to watch her face for a moment to be certain she's really reaching, not just shifting. That he isn't imagining it.

His grip might be a hair too tight at first, but he forces himself to relax it.

"Hi, Rach."

Date: 2014-04-21 04:24 pm (UTC)
ofthecubs: (so enemies beware)
From: [personal profile] ofthecubs
"'ve just-- been going absolutely insane without you."

Which is true. Which is probably why he's sitting in so much shock rather than getting worked up.

"We can't-- we can't do that again, nn?"

(no subject)

From: [personal profile] ofthecubs - Date: 2014-04-21 04:32 pm (UTC) - Expand

(no subject)

From: [personal profile] ofthecubs - Date: 2014-04-21 04:38 pm (UTC) - Expand

(no subject)

From: [personal profile] ofthecubs - Date: 2014-04-21 04:49 pm (UTC) - Expand

/crawls back to

From: [personal profile] ofthecubs - Date: 2014-04-22 02:10 pm (UTC) - Expand

(no subject)

From: [personal profile] ofthecubs - Date: 2014-04-22 02:17 pm (UTC) - Expand

(no subject)

From: [personal profile] ofthecubs - Date: 2014-04-22 02:30 pm (UTC) - Expand

(no subject)

From: [personal profile] ofthecubs - Date: 2014-04-22 03:00 pm (UTC) - Expand

(no subject)

From: [personal profile] ofthecubs - Date: 2014-04-22 03:38 pm (UTC) - Expand

(no subject)

From: [personal profile] ofthecubs - Date: 2014-04-22 04:05 pm (UTC) - Expand

(no subject)

From: [personal profile] ofthecubs - Date: 2014-04-23 08:04 am (UTC) - Expand

(no subject)

From: [personal profile] ofthecubs - Date: 2014-04-23 01:45 pm (UTC) - Expand

(no subject)

From: [personal profile] ofthecubs - Date: 2014-04-23 02:08 pm (UTC) - Expand

(no subject)

From: [personal profile] ofthecubs - Date: 2014-04-23 02:20 pm (UTC) - Expand

(no subject)

From: [personal profile] ofthecubs - Date: 2014-04-23 02:46 pm (UTC) - Expand

(no subject)

From: [personal profile] ofthecubs - Date: 2014-04-23 03:03 pm (UTC) - Expand

(no subject)

From: [personal profile] ofthecubs - Date: 2014-04-23 03:24 pm (UTC) - Expand

(no subject)

From: [personal profile] ofthecubs - Date: 2014-04-23 03:33 pm (UTC) - Expand

(no subject)

From: [personal profile] ofthecubs - Date: 2014-04-23 03:55 pm (UTC) - Expand

Profile

theunpressuredclub: (Default)
Rachel Caustello | Clubs

February 2016

S M T W T F S
 123456
789101112 13
14151617181920
21222324252627
2829     

Most Popular Tags

Style Credit

Expand Cut Tags

No cut tags
Page generated Jun. 10th, 2025 03:18 pm
Powered by Dreamwidth Studios